No, I Will Not Do Your Job For You

I know how to do my job. If something should come up, pertaining to it, and I am not sure how to tackle it, I take it upon myself to figure it out. After all, it is MY responsibility. What is not my responsibility, is figuring out your job. This is where I butt heads with my coworkers.

I don't mind helping people. But when I am constantly interrupted because my coworker(s) encounter something they don't know how to do or are just nervous about doing themselves, they come to me. Now maybe this appears to be a good thing. Obviously they think I have the knowledge to deal with whatever it is they need to resolve. But when it comes in the way of my pile of jobs, I get frustrated.

During my busy time, I can have anywhere from 6 to 16 jobs running at a time. These jobs are usually at various stages of completion. Brochures, newsletters, letterhead, business cards...and more. It is my job to juggle these things. And I actually do quite well.

Here's my beef: Christian, non-profit organizations
They seem to be run so poorly. They should be run like a business. However, the ones I and others I know have encountered are horrible. Because these organizations employ Christian people, coworkers seem to think that everyone is there to help them with their job. Now, it is nice to help each other, but you should know how to do your job. When I say "no, I can't help you with that", they look at me in awe. Like the answer should always be "yes" and I am going against God's unwritten "yes" rule. I am juggling my own work load and rarely have time to pick up the pieces.

The things I am asked to do are simple, but seem to be never ending. Like today for instance. I was asked to follow instructions to go online and download an up-to-date Microsoft program. I could do this no problem. But this is the job of the front desk personnel. BUT, the front desk personnel is nervous about doing it. So she asked if I would. When I told her that I wasn't sure when I'd be able to find the time to do it between the 12 jobs I have on the go, I could almost see the terror in her face. Terror? Yes actual terror.

In my opinion, she needs to find a job that has less to do with technology. If you are that scared of it...you need to resign so someone with the proper qualifications can replace you.

Thankfully I will be going on maternity leave soon, and wont have to deal with these situations much longer. Although, I wouldn't put it past them to call me at times to ask how to do something or to ask me to come in to help. This is where caller ID will be my life-saver. My husband doesn't have a job at the moment and I am worried about finances, but I am perfectly willing to forfeit cable to avoid anymore frustrations from coworkers.

Natural Miracle

What I thought was the baby pushing against my ribs over the last couple weeks may actually be braxton hicks contractions. They are quite annoying, random and very uncomfortable at times, but not painful.

Braxton Hicks contractions are normal at this stage in pregnancy or as early as 16 weeks. They are the muscles of the womb tightening. The purpose is to tone the muscle fibers so they are ready for labor.

I can see why some women would be alarmed by these. But I have tried to prepare myself for the normal stages of pregnancy by knowing about things before they happen. I know I can't be 100% prepared by doing this...but I do think it helps. The more you know, the less you panic. That's the way I see it. So for now I'm just living day to day life normally - with the addition of all that comes with begin 34 weeks pregnant of course.

So far so good. This baby girl is doing great, I'm healthy, and everything is on schedule. But I have to admit, I wouldn't mind if she came in early or mid January. You're probably thinking this is because I'm hoping for a small baby - but that's not it at all. It's simply that I can't wait till she arrives. I know labor will be intense and life will be difficult to adjust to, but I'm not nervous. God designed us this way and all that comes with pregnancy is a natural miracle. I'm just going to try to ride the waves as best I can.

Stressed

Some days it's easy to be positive and look on the bright side - others not so much. Today is one of those other days. I just want to curl up into a ball and sleep the weekend away. It's tiring trying to put a positive spin on everything.

I am just not as excited for Christmas as I usually am. All this stress has sucked the life outta me. And this poor baby knows. On the days that I am stressed, she seems to move less. I've noticed this a few times over the past month.

It's funny. When we are teenagers, we can't wait to get out of our parents house, have our own money and live by our own rules. But at the time, we are clueless as to how difficult adult life can get. I know I am in a better place than some people. But when I'm in the midst of so much life change and interruption, it's hard to be positive all the time.

I take comfort in knowing that things wont always be this way. Things will get better, issues will be resolved and positive things will take place. I'm just waiting for this storm to pass.

No! It's A Secret

We know we're having a girl, so my husband and I have decided to keep her name a secret until she s born. This is driving some people nuts. Especially my mother. I find it amusing when she asks me what we decided on. After I respond with "it's a secret", she asks if I would tell her if she guessed. I still say no and laugh as she grumbles.

There is still the small chance that Baby Moon was wrong and we could have a surprise on our hands when the baby is born. So we are also deciding on a boy's name just in case. Although, I'm not sure what we'll do with all the girly stuff we've received so far. But we'll deal with that when and if it comes.

7 weeks and 1 day to go before my due date. I have to admit, I am so excited for her arrival, I hope she comes a couple weeks early. My pregnancy continues to be going well. I have hardly had any sickness, and the times I have been sick, I'm sure were a result of stress. The worst thing so far has been acid reflux. And that's ok with me. Even though it is irritating, there are just so many other things that I could be experiencing. Worse things! Like morning sickness, round ligament pain, sciatic nerve issues...I am thankful that both the baby and I are doing so well.

Low Tolerance

So I'm just getting ready to leave McDonalds when I notice this girl asking every person in the place if they'd give her money for food. I have to admit, seeing this made me leave much faster. I realize that some people need help and that we should be generous...but I wasn't in the greatest mood to begin with that day.

As I leave, I see in the corner of my eye that she has spotted me. I started to feel annoyed as she followed me out the door. As she followed me she said, "excuse me" a couple times, but I just kept walking towards the grocery store. Once inside, she was preoccupied by all the other people in the lot.

But when I came out a few minutes later, there she was. Her and her freshly dyed, lemon yellow hair were now smoking a cigarette. I witnessed her follow another lady to her car. As she grabbed her shoulder so she could ask her for money, the lady was startled. I could tell she didn't appreciate this desperate attempt.

As soon as she was denied, the beggar came towards me. I am nice to people sometimes. If someone asks for money for food, occasionally I will offer to buy them food. If asked for money for the bus, I will give them a bus ticket. What bothered me about this girl was that she had a full pack of smokes and had clearly just dyed her hair. So when she finally asked me, I said "no". "Maybe you should have used what you spent on those cigarettes and that crappy hair dye for food."

Yeah, I know. Horrible. Maybe it was my mood, that I'm 7 months pregnant or maybe it's just that I'm a jerk. So many younger people are out on Winnipeg streets trying to live free. They have no clue what it's like to work and feel good about being paid for their time. I don't understand why they'd rather beg than accomplish something more.

What a Crazy Couple Months

This year has been one of new beginnings...the happiest being the baby girl brewing in my belly since late April.

In the middle of October we decided to start house hunting with the hopes that we could be new home owners by Christmas. Sadly, owning a home is something we have to wait a couple years for now. Early November we found bed bugs in the apartment and shortly after that, my husband was informed of his termination at work. We quickly decided our next step was to find a new apartment. 3 weeks later, we found one, applied and were approved. Then in the beginning of December, we got word that our apartment was due to be fumigated again. There are many other irritating details we had to deal with along the way, but we're hoping that the beginning of January will bring something positive into our lives.

I know stress isn't good for this baby. So, I tried to deal with this end of year craziness with as little stress as possible. These troubles were out of our hands. There was nothing we could do once they arrived except move forward. I hope I can always have this view. It really does make things easier to handle.

Life is always going to throw surprises at you. The most important thing you can do is breathe, and think about your next move. Not wallow in the horrible state of things. That wont help you and in most cases, will make things worse. The only way to live is to take charge of the things within your power and leave the rest to the big man. He knows what's coming and will never put you through anything you can't handle. Trials make us stronger. Think back on your life and the situations you have faced. I bet you'll find that your trials have indeed made you stronger.

8 weeks and 3 Days To Go

I am 31 weeks and 4 days along now and I still haven't adjusted to the 6 trips to the bathroom a night. I try not to drink too much before bed, but being pregnant, that's when I am the thirstiest. Last night I was up almost every hour.

Being up so often, I notice things that I normally wouldn't. My favorite, is the random giggles that come from my sleeping husband. Life has been a bit of a struggle for us lately, especially him. So hearing his occasional giggle makes me smile. At least he's enjoying whatever it is his mind is inventing overnight.

Being up so often is annoying. But between the husband giggles and the baby kicks, I hardly have the time to be angry about not being able to fall back asleep.

I really do feel blessed to have this baby brewing. When I tell people this, they always talk about how bad things are going to be once the baby arrives. Like how tired I'll be. I am not naive. I know what's coming.

I wonder why people feel the need to stomp on my expectations. This is my first baby. I am not nervous about caring for her and I know it will be difficult at times. But so is everything else in life. If it's worth your time, it's going to require some effort. This is my time to be a mother. So let me be happy with the stages I'm in and let me get frustrated at times. I know in the end, I'll be happy that I've had the opportunity to be a mom. I am excited when I think of things to come, and I wont let anyone suck the life out of that excitement. You're welcome to have your opinions - just know that I will also have mine!

Baby Shower

We had our first baby shower about 2 weeks ago. It was so great to see all the people that showed up, excited for our baby's arrival. Generally, I hate opening gifts as people watch, but I didn't mind this time. A baby shower is just so different than a birthday. A celebration of things to be.

We received a lot of great things. A bathtub, Diaper Genie (Jer is super excited about this one), clothes of all different sizes, diapers, a stroller, a couple stuffed animals and much more. Jer and I are so excited to use it all once our baby girl is here in January!

Sadly though, we had to leave it all at my Aunt's place. We just didn't have room for it in our apartment. And since the whole bed bug scare, we haven't wanted to bring anything new into our apartment just in case. I know I'm going to re-live the excitement once we start getting the baby room together and see everything that's tucked away for the time being.

Christmas is Coming

When I think about Christmas, I think about how much I enjoy making Christmas dinner, wrapping presents and spending time with my family. We always pull out a game or two as we wait for dinner to be cooked and again, to wrap up the day. Over the years we've found that some games are worth buying and some, not so much.

Here are 3 of our favorite games:
1) The Game of Things
Play Time: 20-60 minutes
Players: 7 or less
Each round, one person reads out a phrase. Like "things you shouldn't do at the circus". Then, everyone writes down their answer and the person who read the phrase, reads them all out and people try to guess who said what. We always end up laughing hysterically.
2) Pit
Play Time: As many or as little rounds as you want. Each round takes from 10-15 minutes.
Players: 4-8
Your goal is to get all the same cards in your hand (like the game spoons). To do so, you need to trade the cards you don't want by having them face down on the table and yelling out the amount of cards you need to trade with someone. This gets very loud, and crazy...which is why my family likes it.
3) Settlers of Catan
Play time: 45 - 90 minutes. Depends on how many players you have (up to 6 with expansion).
Players: 3-6
Earn a specific amount of points before the other players. The way you earn points is by building settlements, cities and roads and trading or selling commodity cards.

10 More Weeks

Yes! I just entered into my 31st week of pregnancy. Strange how time has flown by. To date, the experience has been great! With the exception of one day of round ligament pain and the occasional back/leg cramp. I have been lucky so far. I have heard many pregnancy horror stories over the past couple months...and my experience has been nowhere near what I've heard described.

Funny how people only tell you the bad things after the fact. The same thing happened when I had to have my wisdom teeth removed years ago.

There's nothing as amazing as feeling the movement of your baby within your womb. I'm in awe on a daily basis at how God has designed our bodies to carry such precious cargo.

During the past 2 weeks, the feeling of movement has changed from light jabs to rough jabs and controlled movement. I can usually tell now, whether she's just moved her feet and hands, a joint like an elbow or knee or her head. I can feel that she is getting bigger and running out of room.

Here are a few things that are sure to make her move:
Movie Theater Opening Credits
It never fails. I love movies, and every time I'm sitting in a theater and the opening credits roll down the screen accompanied by base that can be felt right through the floor, she adjusts herself. Maybe she's trying to watch through my belly button.

A Bus Ride
Maybe it's the vibration of the bus that gets her going. When she moves at these times, I just can't help but unzip my coat and feel for her movements. Perhaps she's excited to travel just like her mom.

Slouching
She's got limited space...so when I slouch, she moves. It's like she's training me to have better posture.

Mondays
Yes, Mondays. Sundays are usually the days I relax. So maybe she relaxes too. Then Monday comes, I sit in my office to start work and she starts the somersaults. I suspect that just when I start liking Mondays, I will be on maternity leave and have no use to hate them anyways.

Baby On The Way

When Jer and I decided it was time to start a family, we never gave much thought to just how many people would be excited for us.

When thinking about who we'd invite to our baby shower yesterday, we didn't realize just how many people would show up. Roughly 30. Crazy! Every person there was someone I care about and I guess, they feel the same way. Otherwise they wouldn't have shown up. Everyone is super excited for us and this baby entering our family. And that comes as such a comfort, especially considering the rough couple weeks Jer and I have just gone through.

I really am blessed to have so many awesome people in my life. Knowing full well that I don't deserve them. There are times when life is going so well and I look at my surroundings and wonder what I did to deserve these great people and circumstances. Nothing comes to mind. But I accept what's been given to me, and hope that I can be of some comfort to others, the way they have comforted me. Even if they have no clue about what an encouragement they've been.

Change of Plans

Recent developments have brought our house hunt to a halt. This is disappointing, but the more I think about it, the more I realize that it may just not be the time for us to buy a home. There are other plans in the making for us.

This current situation is just a small hurdle blocking our path. We are not the type of people to just sit and wait for someone else to come along and repair our lives for us. We have the means to move the hurdle if we look past what we WANT and focus on what we NEED.

So, instead of moping and feeling sorry for our situation I have decided to take the next step. If we can't buy a house, the next step is moving to a new apartment for at least a year. This isn't ideal, but our time in our current apartment has expired. We need new surroundings.

I came to these conclusions after I found a small book that I used to write inspirational sayings and my favorite Bible verses in. Here's the one that has stuck in my head for the past few days:

Trouble, and the grace to bear it come in the same package.

Paranoid About Bed Bugs

Even though it has been a week since our apartment was fumigated for bed bugs, I am still worried. Any bugs that walk over any surface of our place that has been sprayed will die instantly...for 21 days after the initial spray. But...

Just when I was starting to get a better sleep, we found another bug. This time though, it was in the toilet, dead. When we thought about how it got there, there was only one explanation. The fan is almost directly over the toilet. So we taped plastic around the vent for now. This doesn't mean we have them in our bedroom. In fact, I am sure we don't. But it still made me uncomfortable as I tried to sleep last night. So the problem hasn't been solved, they're still living somewhere in the building...and traveling.

I'd love it if there was a way we could ensure that our apartment was sealed off from all the others. But I don't think that's possible. I've read articles that say they even walk across the halls to other apartments. Ick. What an annoyance.

The House Hunt Continues

Shopping for a home is much different than shopping for anything else. There are so many things you have to consider before you even think about putting in an offer.

Out of the 12 homes we've looked at so far, we've really only liked 2. We put an offer in on one, but as soon as I heard that there were 5 other bids I realized that the chances of us winning the bid were slim. Especially considering the like new 2 car garage on the property. It went for much higher than we would have been able to offer, so we concluded that it just wasn't the house for us. It was nice to go through the bidding process though. I did learn a few things.

So we continue our search. There are so many awful homes out there. People just don't seem to up-keep their homes the way they should. Shingles can easily be replaced by my handy husband, but when there is an issue with the foundation, I turn and run. I've learned to look at homes from the bottom, up. There's no sense in picturing how you will live in a home, if the base of the structure is compromised by shifting or bowed walls.

One house that we loved as we observed the main floor disappointed us with a part basement with many large issues. One issue was the alarming slant of the home and shifting of the main support beam. They tiled the kitchen floor beautifully with ceramic tiles, but as soon as that house shifts a little too much, all those tiles will buckle and one of the nice parts of the home will become a hassle. I'm not into that. If it has a sound structure and has been maintained, I will consider bidding.

We suspect that we will look at many more houses and bid on a few before we can call a place home. Until then, we'll have fun looking at what's out there.

Bed Bugs

Ew! I arrived home from work yesterday evening and as I was hanging my coat up, I asked Jer why our bedroom was turned upside down. His response was "I'll tell you when you're done." With all the bed bug talk on the news, I immediately said "we don't have bed bugs do we?" There was no answer. So naturally I was concerned.

I wasn't panicked...yet, just a little disgusted. After Jer pulled back the baseboards, the box spring, inside and examined the mattress he vacuumed everything. I know he did a thorough job, but that didn't help me from feeling hesitant when it came time to going to bed. He found 8 in total. Half in the bathroom and half ON MY SIDE OF THE BOX SPRING. Why they would just be on my side I have no idea. Once he told me that, I was even more grossed out.

It doesn't matter if you are a clean or dirty person, bed bugs will go for anyone carrying what they're after. Your blood! Thankfully they don't carry harmful diseases. But I'm still agitated that we have them. We suspect they are coming from another apartment. But who knows. They are so rampant in Winnipeg right now that we could have gotten them from a friend, the movie theater or some other source.

Extermination doesn't happen until next week sometime. So, while we wait we are going to inspect and vacuum every day, wash all our clothes and keep them in rubbermaid containers, wash our blankets daily and try hard not to sleep on the couch. They would follow us there, and infest our living room. So far they are only in the bathroom and bedroom...but they're crafty traveling little buggers. We've even started leaving the hallway light on all night in an attempt to keep them away from the living room and kitchen.

I feel so sick to my stomach at the thought of having these things invade our place. Especially when I wonder if they'll exterminate the whole building or not. If they don't, they'll just keep coming back.

We are in the process of looking at buying a house...but I don't want to bring these things with us! So I'm not sure if we'll have to put that on hold or not at this point.

I'm trying not to be paranoid. But it's difficult. On the up side, since we only found 8, we have a small scale infestation, and I haven't noticed more than 2 bites on me. So I'm hoping they can catch them before they get too bad.

Gotta Love A Good Spicy Snack

My Aunt went to the states to do some shopping a few weeks back. When she told me she was going, I requested that she bring me a bag of Flaming Hot Cheetos. I got hooked on their crunchy, spicy flavor a couple years ago. I thought they'd eventually be sold in Canada...but I haven't seen them yet. So, I am stuck waiting until someone I know makes a trip down South.

Why is it that Canada doesn't sell the same things as the States sometimes? I'm guessing it's because they've tried and not sold enough. I hope they try selling Flaming Hot Cheetos one of these days. I'd be willing to buy a shipment just so I could have a lifetime supply all to myself.

When someone brings some back for me, I usually only get 1 or 2 bags. Normally I love sharing with others...but there are just some things that I like to hog. And Flaming Hot Cheetos are top on that list, right behind my family recipe cabbage rolls and Ontario beef jerky.

3D Ultrasound - It's A Girl!

I was a little nervous about having both my parents in such a small room, but everything was fine. They even chatted a little about how much we all weighed as newborns. It was a great feeling, knowing that they could set their differences aside and just enjoy the moment with everyone.

Babymoon was quite a small place compared to what I had imagined, but Jer, me and the 8 family members we invited, managed to fit into the ultrasound room just fine.

It's amazing that we could share that experience with our families. Especially considering this was the first ultrasound that some of them had ever seen. This has made everyone even more excited about this baby. Which is great, because I suspect that I'm going to need some encouragement over the next 5 months.

Seeing everyone else so happy definitely makes the journey more bearable. Although, my pregnancy hasn't been tough so far, I know it's coming. I'm just taking it day by day.

Jer and I were both hoping for a girl, and when the technician confirmed that we were expecting a daughter, we were super excited! Jer is so happy, and I'm loving this side of him. He's just so stoked to be a Dad. I can't wait to see him hold her in his arms for the first time.

She looks healthy, as far as we could tell. She's got a normal heart rate and has all 10 fingers and toes. She's also quite the mover. She likes to move early in the morning and late at night. And this morning, Jer got to feel her kick for the first time. After a few nights of me telling him she was moving and him not being able to feel anything, he was so happy.

Divorce - Like a Skeleton in Your Closet

My parents separated and divorced many years ago. 17 years to be exact. At the time I was 13, and upset that our family, as unhappy as we were together, wasn't going to be a family anymore.

As a child we rely on our parents to fix and keep things together. For me, divorce meant something was broken and couldn't be fixed. This was devastating, especially when I thought of all the times I was consoled in bad situations by the words "it's alright, everything is going to be ok". No matter the situation, divorce is tough on everyone.

Over time, I got over it, but every once and a while I am reminded that the divorce of my parents takes my thoughts back a step. This tainted family past still tries to pull me under it's weight, but I try my hardest to be stronger than that brokenness.

When I was married in 2003, the most stressful thing for me was thinking about my parents being in the same place together. At that point they still weren't speaking to each other. And I was nervous about their girlfriend/boyfriend and the potential for a blow-up. But they all respected that it was my day, and everything went smoothly.

Now that my husband and I are expecting, we want to know the sex of the baby. So we're going to have an ultrasound at Babymoon tomorrow. I have been thinking for a couple weeks now about who I want there. Without hesitation I have invited my Mom & sisters and Jer has invited his parents, brother and grandma. I hesitated to invite my Dad, even though I really want him there, because him and my Mom are still not on speaking terms. But, I have decided to toss that aside. This is THEIR Grandchild...together or separate. If they could suck it up for my wedding, I'm sure they can do it again for our baby. What it all boils down to, is that it's important to me that they both be a part of this. That's the one thing that really matters.

First Ultrasound - Sept. 9

Going into the ultrasound, I knew they were just measuring the baby. Mainly to check on my due date and that the baby was developing at a normal pace. I went into the appointment like I would to any other checkup.

When I first saw our baby, I was in awe. Not awe so cute...awe...I've reached another step in the journey. It's one thing to hear the heart beating - but to SEE it beating. To see it's little legs, hands, face and feet. Wow! Not only could we see it - it was also moving around quite a bit. At one point it had its bum up like it was doing a somersault. We saw it fold its hand into a fist, and shift from its right side to its left. And at 19.5 weeks, our baby was only 6" long. Crazy!

We're not sure what this little one is yet. But we'll find out this week at Baby Moon. At least I hope we will. Jer and I would like it to be a girl. But God is the only one who knows thus far. But that doesn't mean I'd be unhappy with a boy.

As far as names go, we haven't picked any yet. But I have a feeling it's going to be a bit of a battle. Jer likes newer, different names and I like older ones. I also would love to carry on names from my family. I think there's importance in remembering where you came from. Remembering all the people that came before you, and made it possible for you to exist.

I Can Deal With It

So...being pregnant and being me, I think I'm going to have to change it up a bit. I have decided I'm going to try and keep my temper at bay by dealing with the incompetence in my work place differently than normal.

Instead of getting angry. . .
OPTION 1 - Mild annoyance
Breathing exercises. This is less amusing than the other options, but effective if the issue is a small one
OPTION 2 - Visualization (my favorite)
Breathe deeply, followed by visualizing the issue (whomever it may be) being chased by an angry bear. No blood, just lots of chasing and screaming, and maybe some tripping. Sometimes this can provide more laughter than others. It depends on the person being visualized, and their reaction to stress.
OPTION 3 - Shut it out
Close the office Door. This is most useful when I know my temper is about to flare, and it is a give-in that I will have nothing nice to say. Especially helpful if I still have a few work days left in the week. After all, if I yell at someone on Friday, they may forget about it by Monday. If I'm really annoyed, shutting the door while the person is talking amuses me enough to simmer my temper.
OPTION 4 - Sudden sickness
The day is too much to handle. Tell the boss I'm "not feeling well". Then proceed to do whatever work needs to be done, at home in peace. Knowing my concentration will not be interrupted makes me so much more productive.

Space Ship in My Belly

Jeremy, my mom and I met with my midwife a couple days ago. She told us more detailed information about what a midwife does, and answered a few questions.

So far my blood pressure is good...and the baby's heart beat was great (150). And this time Jer got to listen in. I expected him to tell me it sounded like an alien...instead, he said it sounded like a space ship. My mom was even excited to listen in and I was glad she got to be a part of it.

One thing the midwife told us, is that the hospital I'd like to give birth in (St. Boniface), will not tell us the sex of our baby. So, we've decided to go with a private company even though we have to pay for it. We may even purchase a package where we get to take home 3D pictures of the ultrasound.

Tiny Little Heartbeat

I got the chance to hear the heartbeat today. It was only for a few seconds...but still amazing. I had a split-second thought that maybe my doctor wouldn't be able to find it, and then...there it was.

Wow. It's just so amazing how God has designed our bodies to make new life!

Where Will I Hide the Popcorn?

Ok, so I've been thinking a lot lately about how my stomach is going to jut out enormously during this pregnancy, and I just realized something.

Normally in the winter, when we're all bundled up with layer upon layer I use the extra space in my jacket for popcorn storage. I know, this sounds strange. But I am cheap and trying to eat better. I researched the calories and other crap that is in those bags of movie theater popcorn. It's sick!

Small Popcorn, No Butter Added - 573 calories.
Medium Popcorn, No Butter Added - 951 calories.
Large Popcorn, No Butter Added - 1283 calories.
And that doesn't even list the fat or sodium intake! And who gets popcorn without butter?!!

If you consider that the average woman should be having 2500 calories per day, and add in breakfast, lunch and dinner - you can see that those numbers are way too high. We also usually see a movie late at night, which is the worst time to pump your body full of junk.

So to get to my point. There have been a couple times where I have made popcorn at home, stuck it in a large bowl and tucked it into my winter jacket. On one occasion, someone I knew bumped into me and a few days later, my husband told me they were wondering if I was pregnant. Ha ha. The funny thing is, now I am. So popcorn storage is out. Shit.

My Carnivore Husband

Yesterday Jeremy and I celebrated our 7th wedding Anniversary. 7 years! Where did the time go?! It seems like such a big number to me, but it hasn't felt that long. I am so lucky to have found my soul mate. As a child I saw the dysfunction of my parents' relationship, and vowed that I'd never get married. But I am so glad I changed my mind! I would be missing out on so much. What I didn't realized as a child, was that every relationship is different.

To celebrate our anniversary, we decided to go to Tony Roma's, our favorite restaurant. We had 30 minutes to wait for Jer's parents to join us, so we chatted until they arrived. I wasn't surprised to hear him talk about how he thought about what he'd be ordering all day long. And I admit, I was also thinking about what he'd be ordering. I was even less surprised that he wanted steak and ribs. "Ooooh" he says. "Adding shrimp is only $3 more". He just didn't believe me when I told him he didn't need 3 meats for dinner.

We've had conversations about this before. He just can't get enough meat. Sometimes, when I make small chicken breasts for dinner, he wants me to add another meat to the meal. Ha ha. What a man. Hey, don't get me wrong, I love chicken, fish and beef too. But there's such a thing as too much to me.

So, you're probably thinking, "why don't they just make more for dinner. Then he can have seconds." That would be great for him, but it could get quite expensive and add a lot more to both our expanding waste lines. One thing I have learned in my 7 years of marriage is that I can add fresh biscuits or bread to any meal and he is satisfied.

When we finally ordered at Tony Roma's, he looked as though his dreams were crushed when he only ordered steak and ribs. Next time, I think I'm going to keep my mouth closed. An extra meat (or two) every now and then wont hurt.

Pregnancy Thoughts

During times where my body is obviously showing pregnancy symptoms - I do a lot of thinking. Here's the short version:

- Living off mat leave from E.I. will be difficult - but manageable
- Ahhh, it's such a comforting thought to know I wont have to be around my co-workers for a whole year after my baby is here.
- Do I want a girl or boy? Hmmm...I actually am fine with either one. Asuming I do have only one in there. Twins run in both our families. Yikes!
- I love knowing that my family is so excited for us. I think at times, they're more excited than I am. But that will change once I actually see our little one in an ultrasound, and once I feel it moving. Right now I just feel under the weather.
- Jeremy will be a great father. I can't wait to see that play out.
- I'm happy knowing my child will know and love their grandparents. I never knew mine well, and saw the ones in Ontario very little.
- After being a mom to my 2 youngest siblings, I can't wait to be a mom to my own children. It warms my heart to think about it.
- I no longer have to be annoyed at everyone having beautiful children while I have none. Ha ha.
- Someone asked me the other day if I "should be doing that". My response was "I'm pregnant, not dying." I know it's important to take care of myself right now. And I'm doing just that.
- I need new clothes - but I refuse to buy new ones, knowing I wont fit them in a month or so. This is where Value Village comes in.
- Labor is a little scary to think about, but for me what's even scarier is knowing that my boobs will only get bigger from here. Crap.
- Now that I'm in my 11th week, I don't have to pee as often. It's nice to get up only once per night as opposed to three or four times.
- Craving milk and then orange juice is bad. Also, after consuming said cravings, jumping on an exercise machine just mixes it all up. This is also not good.

Book: The Thirteenth Tale

by Dianne Setterfield

This is a story about a young woman who grew up helping her father run a used book store. She developed a love for reading, researching and writing about the dead and what they did while they lived. At one point she receives a letter from a famous author that requests a meeting. Her intent is for the main character to write her life story, since she has kept details about her life secret up to this point. Once the two meet, she eats, sleeps and breathes the author's unwritten story.

I really enjoyed this book. It was funny that, at random, we decided to read this book after Jane Eyre. It is written in the same Gothic style and refers to Jane Eyre quite a bit. This book was much more enjoyable to read.

Book: Jane Eyre

by Charlotte Bronte

Being in a book group, I feel it's necessary to read books I normally would not choose for myself. Before I started reading this one, I was sure I wouldn't enjoy it. I have never been one for gushy love stories in movies...but I realized after this book, that a book can be so much more than a movie can ever be. It allows for unlimited imaginative possibilities.

I actually enjoyed this book from start to finish. I did find however, that the story dragged on a little, and then, just as I was tired of it, the story would perk up. The imagery in the book is interesting and the characters are enjoyable. I may read the book again in a year or so.

Book: French Women Don't Gat Fat

by Mireille Guiliano

This book was pretty good. Basically, each chapter talks about different things that work together to keep French women skinny. It's not a drastic diet book. It's more like a gradual eating healthy grouping of suggestions. I found quite a few very easy to implement.

When mentioning certain topics like chocolate, water and exercise, she explains why these things work. For example; Instead of just stating "you need to drink more water to lose weight", she gives details about how our bodies lose water and how drinking more water has more to do with replenishing the body and cleaning out the toxins than anything.

There are many other things she talks about. Most are common sense. But she talks about combining all these small changes and how they will add up, helping you to meet your weight loss goals and maintain a healthy lifestyle.

She has inserted quite a few recipes to aid you in your quest for good health. Most I wouldn't try. But some sound like something I could enjoy.

Great book.

Book: Me Talk Pretty One Day

by David Sedaris
I have read many books by this author in the past. In fact, I own some.:
- When You're Engulfed In Flames
- Holidays On Ice
- Barrel Fever
- Me Talk Pretty One Day

When our monthly Book Group decided to read this book, I was excited. I had read it before and remembered enjoying it. David Sedaris' books are collections of short essays. Everything he writes about, stems from some experience he's had. For instance, he writes a lot about his family and the ways in which they annoy him. Which I find hilarious. Like the last chapter in this particular book, where he tells about his father's messy eating habits.

But, when I began to read it again, I was mildly amused, but it wasn't the funny book that I remembered. The first 4 chapters were quite hard to get through. It got a bit better as I read more, but I guess over the past couple years, my taste in books has changed. If you are looking to read some of his stuff, don't start with "Me Talk Pretty One Day". I recommend the first one on the list above, because it is the one that got me interested in his books. Then you can decide if you're up for more Sedaris or not.

Downhill Skiing...Quick Learner

A couple weeks ago, my cousin Brittany was visiting Winnipeg. So I decided to join a bunch of my family members at Holiday Mountain for a few hours of downhill skiing.

Our two car loads left just before lunch time that Sunday afternoon. Lori driving one and Me driving the other. Naturally I made a few fun car CDs for the 90 minute drive. As we sang along to songs like "My Humps" and "Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny" it occurred to me. This would be my first time downhill skiing. I got a little nervous.

Once we arrived, I got a little more nervous. Not so much that I was going to be ill, just enough to let me know that my body was opposing the fact that I was about to throw myself down a slippery hill strapped to a couple of waxed sticks. We walked in, paid and grabbed our gear. Out of the 12 of us, 4 got snow boards and the rest got skiis. I was nervous enough about skiing...I wasn't about to try snowboarding.

So, after I got to the top of the bunny hill conveyor belt (yes, the bunny hill), I stood there...looking down...wondering if I was going to break a leg on my way down. I decided that I was just going to go and figure it out on my way down. So, there I went. Down. Straight down the hill. Screaming, I picked up speed too fast and freaked myself out. I saw the lodge coming closer and closer so I panicked and decided to use my ass as a break. It worked...but in the process, I lost one of my skii poles. While I waited for someone to bring it to me, I thought "I should just go inside and wait for everyone to be done."

Then, I saw this little girl having the time of her life. She looked to be about 6 years old. At that point I told myself I'd go down 2 more times, and then decide if I would go sit down and wait for everyone else to be done. After all, if a 6 year old isn't scared of this, why should I be?!

The second time down, I learned how to control myself so I didn't fall. I skiied past the lodge, and when I made my way back into the line. Lori asked "where did you go? One minute you were going down, the next, you were gone."And the third time, I figured out how to slow down and stop.

After my group had handed in their gear, I was still skiing. This ended up being something that I love. Maybe next time I'll try something other than the bunny hill.

Camping Season is Near!

I know it's early, but I love camping so much, that I am already anticipating summer 2010 and all the camping trips that will be had once the weather turns around. This reminds me of what last summer was and the trips that happened during July and August. The best one, was at Riding Mountain National Park.

Joelle and I had a great 3 hour drive to the park together (awesome sister time). The one thing I didn't realize, was that we had to pay per person, per day when we arrived at the park. Our campground was inside it so we payed $36. I was surprised and kind of annoyed considering an unserviced site at Wasagaming Campground was $31/night. So to be in the park and camp for two nights, we payed $98. And that didn't include Rachel, Jessica and Sandra who were coming in a separate vehicle, our food or gas.

Once Joelle and I arrived at our site, we set up the tarps and the tent. Once the other girls arrived, we grabbed a snack and took a drive to purchase firewood. Once we got back, we realized our fire pit was on a pole about two feet off the ground. It was difficult to get our fire going, but we managed. By walking through paths we found the town of Wasagaming. Checked out the tourism building and pocketed paper for our fire (paper was the one thing we had forgotten). There always seems to be something. :)

We decided we'd go on the Gorge Creek guided hike. A 2 hour hike on the Manitoba escarpment (yes, Manitoba has one). It rained all night, so we decided against it. We went on a hike that was more difficult than we thought, but when we arrived at a clearing, we could hear loons and were in awe of the beauty that surrounded us. We had a good laugh when the loons responded to our turkey calls. For the rest of the afternoon, we sat at our site and played "The Game Of Things" for hours. We laughed so hard at times that my stomach ached (this is how i gauge my level of fun - stomach pain). That evening we went to the Bison Enclosure. Once we got there, it was dusk. We saw no Bison at first, but the silence was amazing! Only crickets and frogs could be heard...until one of saw a bat and freaked out. As we left, we spotted a lynx. Then, in the darkness, we saw a huge bison walking slowly down a dirt road. We stopped and drove alongside it. It was taller than the car. We tried to take photos, I gave my camera to Sandra but she was so scared of it, the photo you see to the left is all she got. It gives me a good laugh every time. She got everything except it's genitals...which were very large. Ha ah ha.

One thing I adore about camping is the food. I don't like to take a camp stove, so we cook everything over the open fire. I figure, you have it going already, why not use it for more than roasting marshmallows?! Over the last couple years we have perfected our recipes. Potatoes, cooked with onions, butter, garlic, seasoning salt and farmer sausage is our favorite. And it's so easy, considering I do all the prep work at home. We just dump everything into a foil pan and cover. But our newest favorite, is biscuit on a stick.

The wildlife that we spotted during our stay in Riding Mountain were a bison, a lynx, a baby grizzly bear (we knew by the white mane), bats (ha ha) and an elk. Amazing! We were awe struck by the scenery and the wildlife. And even though it rained a lot, we had a great time. Even knowing that it's quite a bit more expensive than we thought it was to begin with, it was well worth it! I will be there again this summer for sure.

If you are planning a camping trip to Wasagaming, here are a couple tips:
1. Be ready for the daily park fee. There is a campground outside of the park, but odds are, that you'll want to take advantage of all that the park has to offer. Have more than 2 people/car, this way you can pay the family rate ($19/car load)
2. Bring some sort of fire starter or pick one up at the store in Onanole. They sell a little paper cup filled with wood chips and wax that was a lifesaver for us. The firewood isn't the best quality, you will need something to keep it going.
3. Ask about the fire pit on the site you want. The pits that are above the ground catch too much of a breeze and are harder to keep going than the ones on the ground.
4. Visit the bison enclosure during the evening, before sun down. The edge of the road meets with a heavily treed area. Wildlife could jump out at anytime.
5. Bring extra cash so you can make use of the kayaks, paddle boats or boat cruises they offer in the town of Wasagaming (on Clear Lake).
6. Visit the tourism office in Wasagaming. They have a lot of hikes to choose from, and the staff can tell you if they are easy, moderate or difficult.
7. Don't bother with the viewing towers. They were built a long time ago, and you really can't see the beautiful scenery over the trees anymore.
8. Have your camera ready.
9. Don't be scared away by the bear warnings. They monitor the grounds really well. If a bear has been anywhere near the site you have, they will move you if they feel it's necessary. If you follow their directions and keep your garbage bag in the trunk of your car, don't leave food outside or inside your tent, you will be fine.

Book: Say You're One Of Them

This book is a little difficult to read. Here's why:

1. The story is written normally, but then in a strange way, breaks into characters speaking. - This just feels like an interruption every time
2. The characters who speak, speak VERY broken English. What I like to call engrish. - If you're going to write a story...use either or...not both English and engrish
3. There are bits of french mixed in with the engrish. - I hate French...so this angered me.

I wont be finishing this book. Got through roughly 100 pages, because I wanted to at least give it a chance. But it's not for me. Just another binding of kindling for the 2010 camping season.

For The Love Of Siblings

I was clicking through Facebook pages and photos when I came across a photo of three people I know. They were piled on top of each other and looking at it, you could feel the love and laughter these three were enjoying the day it was snapped. I scrolled down to see a couple comments from others, one, caught my eye. "I wish I had a sister." I thought, "wow", I really haven't thought about how lucky I am to not only have one but two sisters and a brother. Just another example of how we take life for granted.

Things haven't always been great between my siblings and I. But they blossomed over the years into what we have now.

I am so thankful that I can laugh about things with my sister Lori. Over the last few years, Lori and I have been able to leave our sisterly aggressions in the past and enjoy each others company today. Our relationship wasn't always a happy one...but time and maturity have taught us both a lot.

Joelle and I have a bit of a different relationship, but it's equally as important. She's artsy and willing to do anything for a laugh. I love that about her.

I am 10 years older than Chad. I can remember when he was oh so small, and now...he's massive. I'm not talking overweight. He towers over me and when he gets in my way, there's nothing I can do to make him budge...except tickle him.

The best things about having siblings are the fun times where we laugh till our stomachs hurt and knowing that when I have kids, they will be more than I could hope for as aunties and uncles. That's so important to me.

Even though some people are not blessed with siblings, some friends can be just as special and important. After all, they are the family we choose. I just lucked out with the family I was given.

Book: Handle With Care by Jodi Picoult

This is what I got out of this book:
1. It's possible to detect abnormalities through an ultrasound as early as 18 weeks - that's pretty early
2. Each chapter in this book is written from each of the main character's point of view - Different, but an effective way to write a story
3. Raising a disabled child is difficult - Ya think?
4. Osteogenesis Imperfecta (OI) is an extremely brittle bone disease - Interesting
5. I will NEVER read another Jodi Picoult book - No joke.

While there were interesting issues brought up in it's thought provoking pages, it was also a repetitive, quite depressing at times, too long and drawn out...and the good parts of the book were completely erased by it's ridiculous ending.

Tupperware Party Anyone?

I usually steer clear of any party where there will be a room full of just women. This includes baby showers, tupperware parties, passion parties...etc. But my friend had committed to going to a tupperware party a couple weeks back and it seemed like she needed a party buffer. In case you are not familiar with my use of the word buffer, I am referring to when you go somewhere and you need a friend to lighten the pressure that get togethers bring. For instance, my friend Sam was always my family buffer. When I took her to my family functions, all eyes were on her and no one bothered to ask me annoying questions.

And back to the tupperware topic. So I volunteered to go with her to this party. First of all...they shouldn't call it a party. The host was so over excited about the plastic bins it was embarrasing. I was embarassed for her! I felt like I was a kindergartner at some points in her descriptive speeches. She had all the cheesy lines...but she was very knowledgable.

I could not believe how excited some women get about tupperware. Seriously...it's just plastic ladies. It was as though hearing about a pop top air tight container was bringing them to climax. One woman was so excited...she had no idea what to do with her hands. So the whole time, they were shaking above her shoulders. Another couldn't stop talking about how her husband gave her the cheque book, and the fact that she wanted to sock her kitchen with products.

Then came time to order. Everything in the catalogue was overpriced in my opinion. Everything. One friend wanted to buy sippy cups for her kids...she had to buy the lids separate. They were actually more expensive than the cups themselves.

There was one particular product that I thought was very, very strange. A bowl to cool hamburger meat in the microwave. My stomach turned at the thought of this. I just can't trust a microwave to cook meat thouroughly. And seriously people, it's not that hard to use the freakin stove and strainer!

Thank God I was with 3 friends. We laughed about things together. At one point, Carla and I had a laughing fit. The tupperware rep must have thought we were laughing at her. Well, we were some of the time...but mostly, we laughed at the names of containers. (Easy Access Bin - wouldn't you laugh at that?) I wonder if they paid someone to think up the fancy names so they could charge more.

I will be steering clear of any tupperware parties in the future. I just can't handle the bubbliness and exagerrated excitement over, over-priced plastic.

Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid!!!!

How do these people survive?
The following, is an email I received. I couldn't stop laughing. Enjoy!

ONE: Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. 'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the teenager at the counter. 'You don't?' I replied. 'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply. 'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?' 'That's right.' So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.

TWO: I was checking out at the local Walmart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the 'divider', looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you know how much this is?' I said to her 'I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today.' She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.

THREE: A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM 'thingy.'

FOUR: I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. 'Do you need some help?' I asked. She replied, 'I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?' 'Hmmm, I don't know. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked... 'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, 'Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk....' (PLEASE just lay down before you hurt yourself !!!)

FIVE: Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?' 'Just use paper from the photocopier', the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five 'blank' copies. (She was a brunette)

SIX: A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine, the mother says, 'I just gave him some ant killer......' Dispatcher: 'Rush him in to emergency!'

The Annoyance of fat cells

Oh yeah, you know what I'm talking about. The frustrating battle with weight gain. I used to have the ability to consume large amounts of food and not gain a thing. But that all changed once I hit puberty, as it does for most women. We are all aware of the issue and how hard we have to work to overcome it or accept ourselves for who we are.

So what makes us gain? Besides the absence of will power?

1A. Laziness
That's right. Laziness. This can come in many forms. But tv has been the culprit for me. Growing up, I remember how much we used the tv as a babysitter. And I think that's part of my problem. I'm still allowing my tv to babysit me. But this particular issue has another part to it. And that my friend, is eating.

1B. Eating While Watching
Recently I watched a talk show that talked about eating while watching tv, and how this "activity" can actually make you eat more than you normally would. The impulse to bring food to your mouth enables you to ignore your stomach. This is a problem for many people.

Hmmm...well not all of us watch a ridiculous amount of tv. So what else makes us gain?
2. Fast Food
Have you looked at the calorie count, or anything on the list of ingredients and daily nutritional value of the food you buy at restaurants? It's CRAZY! Once you start looking at the content...and compare it to what you can cook at home, you will start to rethink eating out.

3. Cola/Pop
I don't even know why I drink this sometimes. But it's fizzy goodness always finds it's way into my apartment, and into my belly. Just cutting this out of your diet, eliminates a large amount of sugar that your body would just turn into fat.

4. Sugar
Even thought this ingredient makes us feel good while we're consuming it...we all know it will do the opposite in the long run. And it's in practically everything we eat. That's right, you take a look at the labels of the products you buy on a regular basis.

There are more I could add to the list. But you get the idea. All these things in combination, create an obese population with hunger for more. Walking right alongside them are 3 things.
1. A longing to feel good - which leads to the eating of feelings
2. A longing to fit into sizes that shouldn't even be possible - which leads to eating disorders
3. Will power
Each of these are chained to us. Like traveling companions. Number 1 is a bag of cheesecake bites. Number two is anger and resentment. And number 3 is shrinking...almost non-existent ability to say no. The only thing that will strengthen number 3 is number 4.
4. A kick in the ass - administered by your want to accept or change yourself

I've invited number 4 to live with me for the month of January. Hoping it will stay indefinitely.