Packing on the pounds

Before I was pregnant, I was exercising and losing weight. I felt great! But exercise came so much easier then...when I didn't have a 1 year old chasing after me. (I say chasing after me - because, since she learned to walk, that happens more often than me, chasing after her).

Now that it's been 15 months since I gave birth to Calleigh, reality is setting in. This is about the time when a mother starts feeling lumpy and dumpy. My daughter is all about skin. I'm guessing it's just her comfort thing. But she always has her hand/arm in my shirt. This makes for a lot of stretched collars accompanied by food stains, baby finger prints and drool smears. Some days I feel like a bum. Sloppy, unkempt and lumpy.

After she was born, my weight proceeded to melt off over the next 4 months. Then I went back to my old eating habits, and BAM - I gained a little unwanted weight. But, instead of being a Debbie-downer about it, I keep reminding myself that no one forced me to eat all that chocolate, cookies, chips and other horrible things for my body. I did that on my own and if I am unhappy with my weight, I've got to take responsibility for my actions and do something about it.

When you're a mom, you can either give up on doing things for yourself OR work around your child. So, I have started exercising immediately after I put my sweet baby to bed. Then, I work on some graphics jobs and crawl into bed around midnight. This might not be great for some people, but it works for me.

So, if you are struggling with something, and thinking about it just stresses you out to the point where you feel like you should just give up - think about how important it really is to you. Could you live without it? Is it vital to your sanity that you resolve it? People may think I'm crazy for asking myself questions. But that is exactly what I do. Sometimes out loud. It doesn't make me crazy. It makes me capable of handling what comes at me.

Juggling My Life

I wish I could say settling into my new role as Mommy has been easy, but who's life is easy?!! Things wouldn't be interesting without bumps in the road. Not that my beautiful daughter is a bump in my road - but she certainly makes things interesting.

That old saying "hindsight is 20/20" makes a lot more sense to me now. I remember hearing that expression as a child and thinking "what language is that?" and passing it off as something that meant nothing. Just something people said to fill space. Well, it didn't mean anything then, but now - now I see what the fuss was/is all about. Looking forward to what my life may be like is definitely easier than looking back and seeing what I could have done better, prepared for...or just left out completely.

When my daughter was 11.5 months old, I went back to work. Before her, I was employed full-time, paid by salary and had way more time and money to "play with". Now, I work part-time, am self employed and we are scraping by. It has taken some adjusting. I was kind of pushed into being self employed...but it was a good thing. Something I would have struggled to do on my own.

I find my day to day thinking is centered around when my daughter will nap so I can get some work done. Mommy life is a little tougher than I thought it would be. Apart from the bad nights, where our little one wakes up a lot and I get frustrated easily with tiredness and a few profanities, I think I'm a good mom.There are always things we feel we could have done better, but what's the sense in dwelling on them? Just acknowledge the room for improvement and try to learn how to adjust your thinking/actions accordingly.

Life will always be a juggling act, even more now that I have a child. But it is a welcome activity. In order to live and grow, we need to accept that things change, sometimes for the worse and sometimes for the better. But living life day to day is the only way to live for me. Otherwise, I might get caught up in larger than life struggles and give up all together.

Sit back, relax, enjoy the people in your life and when you are faced with one of life's many bumps along the way, try to break it up and deal with it in pieces so it doesn't overwhelm you. You'll breathe easier and sleep better...unless you have a baby waking you up every couple hours at night.  :P

Happy Birthday!

I have really come to enjoy creating birthday cakes for the people in my life. But, the reason I took an interest in doing so, has everything to do with great childhood memories. To put it simply, I will never forget the fantastic cakes my aunty and mom made for my siblings and I as we grew up. The fond memories inspired me to make birthday cakes, so that one day, I could create the same memories for my child.

On February 11th, 2012, I was able to make that small dream come true. Although Calleigh wont remember her ladybug cake, it is a stepping stone to creating even better cakes in the coming years.

Below: Calleigh's ladybug cake - Cole's train cake - Isabel & Sophia's barbie cake.
Decorated with butter-cream icing and marshmallow fondant...and one Barbie. :P

Oh Yeah, I Have a Blog

Life has been crazy, fun, exhausting, trying, stressful and joyful this past year. A roller coaster ride as some might call it.

I have been so busy getting used to life as a mom, I totally forgot about this blog. I guess this doesn't matter. This page is just a means of keeping my sanity really. And my sanity has almost run dry, so it's about time I start blogging again.

I imagine that most of my posts will be about my beautiful daughter - but I will try and mix it up a little with work (oh yeah, I went back) and other things in this crazy life of mine.

Wheelchair Madness

I was courteous when I saw that 2 wheelchairs were about to get on the bus. I got up, pulled the seats up to make room for them and then moved my stroller as far out of the way as possible. Little did I know I'd be listening to the lady complain for 40 minutes about things that were out of my control. What I did control though, was my temper. I was proud of myself...but another part of me feels like I should have just punched her.

Here's what she complained about:
1) The priority seats were made for wheelchairs not strollers. The petition that allowed mother's with infants to have the right to the same priority seating as people in wheelchairs is unfair.
2) All strollers on the bus should be folded up. (Yeah, maybe when you have a small stroller with a toddler init. But not an infant and a car seat attachment)
3) She kept sliding out of her wheelchair because she was unsafe. (Unsafe isn't the word I would use. Maybe if she'd stop eating babies, she would fit in her wheelchair)
4) Transit should make seats for carseats in the back of the bus. (Moron)
5) People with strollers don't want people in wheelchairs on the bus. (I had no problem with it, until this encounter)
6) She carried everything when she had kids, why can't mother's do that nowadays. (Because it's not 1950 dillhole)
7) Handi-Transit wasn't an option because it is for seniors. (Bullshit - I looked it up when I got home...she's just lazy)

I think she was just milking her disability. I understand that she needed room on the bus, and I tried my best. But it was cramped. When I take the bus, I know it may be uncomfortable and packed...but I just sick it up. This lady obviously didn't know how to do that.

It made me so angry that she expected me to fold up my stroller. If I had done that I wouldn't have been able to carry everything I had. Stroller, car seat with my child in it, diaper bag and my purse. When she gets a little older and can walk...then yes, but not now. The whole time she kept calling mom's with strollers "you people". I don't know what it is about those two words...but that made me even angrier.

Bottom line is - if you would like people to be sensitive to your needs, be sensitive to theirs. Don't repeatedly complain about things that are out of your control. You'll just piss the people off around you to the point that they would feel happy beating you just so you shut the fuck up.

Pregnancy - Tidbits People Don't Talk About

When my husband and I first decided to start "trying" (ha ha, I always found it funny when we used this word in place of procreate, reproduce, copulate...), I really didn't know what pregnancy would be like. To put it plainly, I just knew I was going to gain weight, have great hair, feel uncomfortable, have trouble sleeping, endure pain at the end during labour...and bring home an addition to our family. I figured I would just take it as it came. Like I try to in most situations in life.

Aside from being very ill one day (before I knew I was pregnant), after I had a couple glasses of wine the previous night, I had hardly any side effects. Well, at least when you compare with other peoples' pregnancies. At 4 months along, I started to feel acid reflux coming on and I couldn't drink hot beverages because they made me nauseous. What I didn't see coming was emotional retardation. This is a side effect of pregnancy that no one really goes into detail about. For me, not being able to control my emotions is the worst thing. I was not myself at all. When a pregnant woman says "it's the hormones talking", she is not just finding something to blame. She's being honest.

Thankfully, emotional retardation only lasted 2 weeks. After that, I just had to get over being embarrassed that I said things that were out of my control.

Then, there's the H word...haemorrhoids. I really don't think this needs explanation. Although, I would like to point out that when you push out a baby...these also get pushed out. Thankfully...you can't feel them for at least 4 weeks after delivery.

The last thing that took me by surprise was post-partum hair loss. I knew I'd lose hair...but I had no idea how much. It was everywhere. Normally when you have long hair it finds it's way around the vacuum cleaner brush, in the dishwater, in the occasional meal and in tufts under the bed. At the peak of post-partum hair loss, there was not an inch of floor spared...we found it in ice cubes, weaved into clothing, clogging every drain, in the toilet and when I finally found a piece in my daughter's diaper I began wearing a ponytail to restrain it.

But when it comes down to it, this little girl was worth it. She is beautiful and truly one of God's gifts to us in this harsh world.

Middle Finger Photo Opps

When you have a baby, you tend to take a lot of photos. We already have so many and Calleigh is only 3 months old. Upon trying to catch that gorgeous smile or crazy facial expression...I have caught her middle finger creep up in the cutest of poses.

The one finger salute, the bird and flipping off are all short terms to explain the usage of said finger. The gesture may be of Roman, Greek or Mediterranean origin. In Rome it was used as an insult and in the Mediterranean world, it was used to divert the threat of the evil eye.

The origin of using the Digitus Impudicus (indecent finger) is not known for certain. But, it is a gesture meant to belittle another. Making them ones sexual inferior.

It's ridiculous really. Every man and woman knows what this finger gesture means. If we have a clear line of sight, we can deliver this message to anyone and everyone. And my child has discovered it much too early.