The Boulevard Couch

Once upon a time my 3 siblings, my father and I, were walking to a football game. We spotted a couch on the boulevard and as we walked passed it, I started thinking about how crappy my mother's old couch was. She had the 15 year old couch stuffed with pillows and blankets so people wouldn't sink in every time they sat on it. But this couch looked like it was in pretty good shape. I ran back to it and lifted the cushions to see if there was any damage. I also tipped it forward to see if the bottom was crappy, but it was fine. So we walked to the stadium and watched the game (the Bombers lost).

With 9 beers in his system, my dad was quite loud, giggly and definitely not walking straight. As I tried to make sure he didn't drop his camera again, I was also trying to convince Chad to help me carry the couch to mom's. It would be a city block, but I knew it was in better shape than hers, and I knew she wasn't home. It was the perfect window of opportunity. Reluctantly, he agreed to help.

Once we got it to mom's, Lori and I decided that we'd put the old couch in her porch so that once she found out that we got this other one off the boulevard, we could just switch it back if she was angry. But as soon as we moved it, everything fell a part. Springs, foam, pillows and blankets went everywhere. So we decided that it was garbage. We placed the boulevard couch in her living room and left.

At home, I tried to think about lies I could tell her so she wouldn't find out it was from the boulevard, but I decided just to tell her the truth. The next morning she called me and asked if the furniture fairy had brought her a couch the night before. I told her the story and she seemed fine with it.

It has been in her living room for just over a year now. She recently bought a new set of couches and we need to get rid of the sacred boulevard couch now. She didn't want to sell it. But I refused to listen to her. Within a few hours of putting it on "Used Winnipeg", I got a call. $60 for a couch we got for free! We plan to use the money to replace the baseboards that the contractors (Handy Hands) screwed up.

NOTE: Handy Hands does NOT know what they're doing! They are a business run by a dad and his son who clearly don't communicate well. Don't EVER employ them to renovate your home. They did a half ass job on my mom's place. The only thing they did right was the siding, fascia and soffeting. They got a cross-eyed guy to paint, the paint was full of hot patches (blotches), used 4 different types of baseboards, and covered their crappy drywall cuts with more baseboards.

Life - The Weekday Routine

The traffic buzzes by the window as I pep talk myself out of bed. This morning was extra difficult because somehow I managed to find the one comfy, spring free spot on our mattress during the night.

I roll out of the coziness to wash the sleep off my face and brush the grime off of my teeth. I generally brush before I eat breakfast because first thing in the morning, I have the worst breath in the world. Death breath is what I like to call it.

I rummage through my clean clothes to find that everything is wrinkled. But I don't particularly care, since I'm just going to work. My co-workers wont notice, they're too busy trying to figure out how to wrap their heads around basic computer skills.

I walk to work in my MP3 music bubble knowing once I step foot into the office, I will likely be bombarded with unwanted conversation, sad unfunny jokes and awkward smells.
Still in the bubble, I walk in the door and chuckle inside at my co-workers. They still don't understand that headphones disable a persons ability to hear anything but what's coming through the electronic device in their pocket.

As I begin to work on five jobs at once, the printer/maintenance guy approaches my office. He's nice but the combination of being over 60 and Mennonite means that he is not funny and he loves to tell the same jokes over and over. He also has some of the worst manners I've ever seen. Once, in mid sentence he picked his psoriasis, looked at it and ate it. He also has no understanding of personal space. He tells me about something work related and then drags on the conversation. It is at this point that I continue to work and he gets noticeably irritated. I continue to type and revel in his annoyance of me, thinking about how "it's about time" that I annoy him for the countless times he has done so to me.

He finally leaves and then the secretary acts as though the world is going to end. A window has popped up on her computer asking her if she wants to install updates. She proceeds to frantically ask me what to do, reading off every word and number in the window. I tell her what to do (usually more than once) and then change my Facebook status to reflect the level of irritated that I am at. She continues to have these stroke outs a few more times during the day and towards the end, I just tell her I don't know. What I really want to say is "if you don't know how to use your computer, maybe you should get a different job. I don't have time to deal with your crap 5 times a day." And teaching her or the other guy does nothing. They just ask me the same things the next day, and the next day and the next day.

As lunch time rolls around I decide if I'm eating out or not, in order to avoid having to lose my appetite from watching the scab eater scarf down his lunch like there's no tomorrow. Once it's 4:30 I am dying to dive into my music bubble once again, to change over to the "real me" that was suppressed all day so I didn't lash out at incompetence or repetitiveness.

After 20 minutes of bubble time I am home. I hug my man and start dinner so I can satisfy the appetite of my favorite person of the day, Jeremy. We eat and chat a bit about our days, ignore a few telemarketing calls and sit down for some evening relaxation. I pull out the DDR mats to fill my exercise craving and then get ready for bed. I then drift off to dreamland to the sound of a Friends episode, hoping that I wont wake up countless times from overly imaginative dreams.

Unwanted Conversation

In regular every day living we all encounter people. On the bus, at work, at the mall...etc. This is fine. Sometimes we say a simple hello to acknowledge someone and sometimes we have a conversation. This is also fine, as long as both people are on the same page.

For instance: when you walk by someone on your way to work. You know that if you say a simple greeting, the conversation will start and end there. So a simple "hello" is sufficient. But, when you walk into the workplace and say hello, it sometimes develops into an unwanted conversation. You say "hello" or "good morning" and then the other person begins a long drawn out conversation on something that has nothing to do with either word. I come to work, not to listen to someone talk about useless and/or unwanted information. So while the other person goes off on their tangent, I am thinking about how boring they are and hoping my face shows how annoyed I am.

On top of the boring conversation, some people add a horrid smell as they wave their arms and mix their ill smelling odor with the air you are about the breathe in. I start to hold my breath, or cover half my face with my hand. I figure that might help block some of the stench from entering my nose.

So, unwanted conversation and body stench. I think these are two of the things that irritate me most. I am at a loss because I experience both of these 5 days a week. This is clearly my reason for looking forward to weekends.

How does one avoid these things? You don't. There is no way that you can. Unless you are rude. There are two stages of rude.
Stage 1: Internal Rudeness. This is the first step to becoming rude and learning how to internalize anger. You think rude thoughts, and wish you could just blurt them out, but don't, because your parents taught you to be a nice person (highly over-rated).
Stage 2: External Rudeness: This is the second and final step to venting the anger you internalized in stage 1. You come to your breaking point and just speak your mind. This graduates from wording things nicely to being a complete ass. This stage lasts a lot longer than stage 1 for some people. But this is the stage where you accept or reject being rude as a normal part of your every day life. I accept reluctantly. I guess there's still a part me of ( a very small part), that doesn't welcome the frustration.

I am just entering Stage 2, and I think this is the rudest I have ever been. Maybe it's my age. I've come to the point where I just don't care anymore...and I don't want to. People have been irritating me my whole life. And now it's time for payback! I'm an adult, and don't take kindly to people who speak to me as if I were still in kindergarten, people who have horrible manners (eating psoriasis, picking ears with toothpicks, eating like a horse, picking their nose and then reaching to shake my hand...there are so many, I can't possibly list them all), and especially those who just keep talking as if they love the sound of their own voice and assume that you do as well.

This concludes my rant. Enjoy the rest of your people filled day and try to eek out some rudeness...you might like it. =P

Great Aunt Susan We'll Miss You

Some of my best childhood memories were from the days we spent at Great Aunt Susan and Uncle Andy's place in Lac du Bonnet. That's where I got to know Aunt Susu. But that was a long time ago, and she didn't really know who I grew up to be, until this July.

I spent some time taking her (In the photo on the left with my Grandpa Fred) to appointments in Hamilton General Hospital this summer. We talked, laughed a lot, she told me some family stories and I updated her on my mom and siblings. From talking with her and the doctors, I learned that she went through a few pacemakers over the years (one damaged a heart valve), she was on 17 medications and she liked to go fast in her wheelchair. She just wanted to get better. There were many times in that one day where she would slam her arms down because she was annoyed that she had to wait so long. She was fed up with being sick and spending all this time in the hospital.

I had a chance to speak to her a couple days before she passed. Although she couldn't speak, the doctors said she could still hear. So I said a few words to her. Hearing her struggle to breathe was very difficult. She hadn't eaten or drank anything in days and she wasn't responding to anything but her heart was still going strong. When my dad came home from visiting Winnipeg, she responded to him and others with a mumble.

At one point during her appointments I had to wheel her into a doctor's office that had wall to wall furniture. I bumped her chair into a weigh scale and she said to me "I hope you don't drive a car like you drive a wheelchair!" I choose to remember her the way she was. She was funny, sweet and such a blessing to many people.

I see the body as a house the essence of each person lives in. Once the person has breathed their last breath, the house no longer contains any part of them. An empty shell is left behind while the spirit and soul go on to better things. What's beyond life, I can't be sure. But I know as well as you do that our time here on earth is temporary. So we should make the best of it while we're here.

Tell people that you love and appreciate them constantly and never take life for granted. It's the only one you have.

Stink-ity Stank - Good Hygene Is A Must!

Some people wear deodorant or antiperspirant and some choose not to. I don't know what's worse. Using it or not using it!

What's more bearable, used deodorant sweat stank or body odor?

Sometimes I mention the issue, but that depends on the relationship I have with the person. I have no problem telling a sibling or a cousin that they need to shower. Nor do I have any issues telling my close friends that they have toilet paper stuck in the back of their pants. Or mentioning a zipper that needs to be zipped, a shirt that looks bad, a stain, a rogue booger in the nose or eye or offering a piece of gum and responding with a sarcastic "not at all" when they ask if their breath smells.

I really dislike being around smelly people. It's unpleasant. So before you leave the house today be sure to apply deodorant and brush your teeth. Or, don't talk to me. I'm not going to hear a word you're saying while I hold my breath until you're clear of my personal space bubble and I can cover up the stank that you've left behind with scented oils.

It's Cold, It's Milky, It's Drippy

Sometimes I go for a chocolate bar, a bag of chips, chocolates, sour soothers, cookies...but very rarely do I decide to buy an ice cream. I hate when I'm out with friends, and everyone wants to go get ice cream. They all giggle and say "yay, ice cream" like they're 5 again. I just don't get some people's obsession with this dessert food. Here's what I hate about it:

IT'S COLD!
Very cold! I hate that feeling you get when you bite into an ice cold mound. Why would you want to temporarily freeze your teeth? How is that good? I can see how it would be refreshing I guess, in the summer time. But it's still last on my list. I'd rather have iced tea, or a cold beer. At least that warms up to a comfortable temperature once it's hit your mouth.

IT'S MILKY
If I am going to have milk...I'll have milk. Not some whipped, frozen version of it. When I have a peanut butter sandwich, I want milk, when I have a creamy chocolate bar, I want milk. Not ice cream. Milk is supposed to be healthy isn't it? If I want something sweet...I want it to be unhealthy. That's just the way it is.

IT'S DRIPPY
I absolutely hate eating anything that make a mess of me. Like wings, ribs...well any food that has sauce on it that is likely to drip. Ask yourself, what's gonna catch those drips??? Yeah, bang on! Boobs! Every time. They just get in the way, then, everyone looks at you like you're a pig. Hello???!!! It's not my fault. It's the boobies. They just stick out too freakin far!

Anywhoser...I don't like ice cream. So, please, just remember that. I don't like it. So if you are looking for someone to go to the BDI with...call somebody else. I'm not interested. I will however go for Gelate. It comes in a bowl and you eat it with a spoon.

Only Time Will Tell

Just some thoughts on the present situation: I have learned over the last 3 years, that working for a non-profit organization has it's good and bad points. You could say the same about any other job I suppose. But here, people expect you to be a "good Christian" about things, smile and take it. No objections. And when there is an objection, most often, they are a little surprised. You see, they don't want to hire more people. That's more money out the door every month. That alone is frustrating, because things don't get done properly or to the best they can be when you have someone new every year, learning how to do things for the first time. Things get lost in the mix that way.

This isn't something that's going to change anytime soon. I wish this place ran a bit more like a business. It makes sense to me. There's always someone that knows exactly what's happening with every aspect of the work place. Plus, it's just more proffessional, more organized. Non-profit organization doesn't have to mean, non-profit...so no organization. And yeah, if some of the people I work with see this...they'll be frustrated with what I've noted here. But they are also free to have their own opinions.

While it's nice to work for a good cause...I don't think it'll be what I do for the rest of my life. I'm hoping things will change. Only time will tell.

Best Email Joke EVER!

You gotta love it when someone asks you a stupid question. People do it to make conversation I suppose, not realizing how dumb they've just made themselves look.

Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my dog at Wal-Mart and was about to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had,an elephant? Since I'm retired, with little to do, on impulse I told her no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again. Although I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in the intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her it was essentially a perfect diet and the way it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry - the food is nutritionally complete - so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard!

WAL-MART won't let me shop there anymore

My Rude-aholic Self

Yeah...I have diagnosed myself. Rude-aholic. Most people who know me, know that I do enjoy a few rude comments here and there.

An inner struggle breaks out in my head at times. No, I'm not hearing voices! Basically, if someone is talking to me, and I really don't feel like listening or they're not making any sense, I say things in my head, hoping that person will understand and leave me alone. It never works. Which is disappointing. But I guess on some level I am learning to be patient.

Don't worry, those of you who read this blog are not in this annoying category...most of the time. Ha ha. No seriously.

Some days I just wish I could be outwardly rude. Like tell the person babbling "I don't care." Or "Give me your phone number so we can pretend that I will call you so you can tell me more about this useless crap with your annoying voice and irritating habits."

I can't be the only one on this planet that feels like this! Maybe this is just one of those subjects that people keep to themselves. You know...something people bottle up. While I do occasionally do some bottling of things, I am not a fan of the outcome, which is an explosion of rudeness in it's purest form. I think it's good to just get it out before you get to that lethal stage. Where all you can think about is shaking the person or giving them a good karate chop to the neck.

My problem is that I can't just let it out with people I see all the time. It just wont work. It will make things awkward and anger me more because said people will try to resolve the situation. But the thing they're not taking into consideration is...their whole being is annoying and/or nauseating and that's too difficult to even bother with! Plus, I think I like to be angry sometimes. Like while I'm cleaning, I always clean my apartment much better when I am enraged.

Yeah I know...this is all crap and I should kick myself in the ass for sharing it. You win some you lose some. This is me, but you knew this...you just never knew how deep the rude-aholic disease went. Feel free to stop talking to me out of fear that my brain will use your conversation as an excuse to use telepathic messages to hint that you should leave me alone.

...end of babble

Who would buy these??

Ok, so Sam and I go shopping the other day and as we walk through the mall to get back to the car we saw these. We felt they were stupid enough to deserve a picture. Seriously...why are stores selling things like this?? Who would buy them? Can you imagine the tan lines you'd get from wearing these? Every year people come up with idiotic things like this...you gotta wonder what their mental state is. You'd have to be nuts to spend money on these!

The house I grew up in...

Through the years my Mom's house has become more and more run down. I have plenty of stories about mice, squirrels, mold and more. Don't read the following stories if you have a weak stomach.

Story #1 - Go Nuts For M&M's
I remember a while back when I was about 20. My room was in the basement, so I could hear when the mice were running around upstairs. For a few nights, there was a little more action than normal but I thought nothing of it. I started to noticed pieces of chocolate all around the couch.When I pulled back the cushion I was in shock. There was A LOT of mouse poop! I was so grossed out. It also looked like the mice had played inside the cushions because they were all chewed up in the corners. Lori had left a bag of peanut M&M's on the couch and they had ravaged through it. So I vacuumed it up...it was like vacuuming up a bunch of paper clips. I made a point of telling Lori it was her fault. What are big sisters for?!!

Story #2 - The Cover Up
I was 18, and I had just come home from school for lunch. I decided to relax in front of the tv. Half an hour passes and I start hearing this slapping noise. Like an elastic band hitting the floor. After a few minutes of it, I realized it was coming from the kitchen. So I check it out. MOUSE!!! At this point my body overheats from disgust. When mice eat the poison, they dry up from the inside. It was paralyzed on one side and jumping a little every few seconds. As it did this, it left a trail of blood on the floor and wall. When it stopped jumping, I put a plastic bag on the end of a bent coat hanger and covered it.. It was a nice surprise for my mom to come home to.

Hmmm...I'm thinking this is enough for you to handle for now.

Now to get to my point. Mom made the decision to renovate the house late last year. And it's coming along nicely. Although, the guys doing the renovations aren't the most proffessional...the work they contracted out looks great! The outside of the house is awesome! Siding, roofing, eaves troughs....inside she has new cupboards in the kitchen, a new bathroom, carpeting (It's strange that all that red shag is gone), laminated flooring, a new front door (hence the peephole pic)...Check it out...

Hamilton 2008

I was in Ontario for three weeks. During that time I roller-balded down the beach strip (a paved pathway along Lake Ontario), stained part of a deck, shopped at IKEA and more, picked strawberries, visited a lot of family, went to the drive-in, made good use of a pool and a trampoline, went to two wedding receptions, peeled wallpaper, weeded a garden, went to Canada's Wonderland...I'm sure there's some stuff I've missed.

This is apparently a birth certificate for one of my distant relatives: Way back in the Bahm line, the name was spelled Bohm and Boehm...with two dots over the o. I'm guessing the spelling was changed when they arrived in NewBrunswick.


I think my favorite memory would be roller-blading along the beach strip for three hours eating wild blackberries along the way. We had blue teeth, lips and hands. I realized later, that my feet were also blue. They're very ticklish. so it was difficult to clean off.

Here's a few pics to highlight the fun times

A great gift idea

Looking for the perfect gift is difficult sometimes. Especially if you're low on cash. I ran into that problem recently. My cousin Mike was turning 11 and I didn't want to get him a crappy gift that he wouldn't use. Everything he wanted seemed to be out of my price range too, so I browsed a department store for ideas.

In the stationary section I came across this design your own t-shirt packet. Basically, if you have a color printer, you're set. I can draw and come out with pretty good results, so I decided to draw (on my computer) something he'd like and use them to iron it onto a t-shirt. He really likes Family Guy, so I made him a shirt with Stewie on it. I was so happy to see that he enjoyed it!














I have made quite a few t-shirts for people since then. But now I've gotten to the point where I'd like to make my own designs. The t-shirts I made before were great. But I'd like to design my own characters (instead of using popular cartoon characters). The photo above is my first stab at it...it's designed for my friend Christine who is crazy about frogs.

Camping - Big Whiteshell Lake

It took us 2 1/5 hours to get there. It would have been a little nicer to look at if the trees were in bloom, but it was still good to get away from everyday city life!

The four of us (Joelle, Lori, Shawna and I) were prepared for most things. Except eating. We forgot our paper plates, so we cooked our meals in tin foil and basically ate out of that. Man was it good! Roasted veggies, mushrooms, hamburgers, smokies, soft tacos...and junk food of course. I couldn't find my matches before I left, so we were stuck using a lighter.

Our neighbors on the first night sounded extra "special". Even though there was a Provincial Park ban on alcohol all May long weekend, they had obviously brought some anyways. But it was funny listening to their conversations. They really had a lot of nothing to say. One of them even went swimming. I was surprised! I had stuck my feet in the water and it was like ice! There was no way we would have gone in at all. But when you combine "special" and beer, I guess that's normal.

Last time I went camping (last Aug.) the tent we borrowed was hard to put up and reeked like cow poop and pot. So I eliminated that this time by buying my own. It has a mesh part on the top, which is good for air circulation but also let in a bit of the cold air. Poor Shawna borrowed a sleeping bag from her dad that didn't zip up. So the second night, she used the emergency blanket with the sleeping bag. We just have to remember to bring slippers next time.

To occupy ourselves, we ate a lot of great food, hiked a 40 minute trail, played tennis, watched a couple movies before bed, played cards...the usual camping activities. If the water wasn't so cold still, we could have rented a canoe. Just thinking about the canoe tipping us into that ice cold water was enough for us to decide against that.

How to avoid a Squeegee Kid

Oh yeah, you know what I'm talking about. Those people that stand at busy corners, until the light turns red...then...they attack. Smearing their dirty water all over the windshields of unsuspecting drivers.

If they can stand on the street all day, smoking in their designer clothes and patting their dog complete with a diamond collar...they can go out and get a job and pay taxes just like the rest of us.

Why do people give them money? It's not like you're getting a service you've asked for!!! They run up to your car, smear the window and make it worse than before you washed all the bird crap off the day before. Then, to make matters worse, you feel sorry for them so you pop them a bit of change. Do you not see that this is wrong?? Do you know how much these people make in a day for coating the city's cars in stank water???

Here are a few tips on what to do if you spot one:
1. Roll down your window and say "no speak-a-da engrish".
2. Wave your hands frantically in the air while nodding your head "no" as they walk up.
3. Squirt them with a water gun as you drive by.
4. Rev your engine as they approach your vehicle.
5. Let them clean your window and give them a blank stare.
6. This one's my favorite and I've used it many times: If you spot them in time, stop and leave at least 3 car lengths of space between you and the car stopped in front of you. If they still approach, start backing up. They'll get the hint.

DO NOT give them money or say "I'm sorry, I don't have any change". You don't have to feel bad. Remind yourself that this person needs to learn to get a job and be responsible. Not that people will give you money if it looks like you're being productive. You all know there's a difference between being productive and looking productive!!

Helpful Hints: Missing Manners

Germ Spreader: It seems like someone around me is always sick. Coughing, sneezing…the works. The other day I was on a bus, and this woman was sneezing like her organs wanted to jump out and coughing like she was going to give birth through her head. I tried to move away after the first time she sprayed me, but there was nowhere to go. The bus was jam packed! I daydreamed the rest of my ride that I had a can of Lysol and was dousing her with it. I guess her mother never taught her to cover her mouth.

Swishy Swishy: There's nothing like a sloppy eater that ruins the appetite. You know what I mean. Those lovely people that slop their food around in their mouth like mouth wash. Do they do this to ensure it's been chewed right and is as close to a liquid as possible? Liquid sandwich...YUCK!

Toothpick No-Nos: When normal people use toothpicks, they pick the tooth and that's it. They don't look at what they've just dislodged from between their chompers. They don't suck it back into their mouth. And they most certainly do not use it as an ear scratcher and then place it back in their mouth! I have recently seen this happen...I was disgusted and nauseated on so many levels.

Rethink That Pit Stick: Some people get comfortable with the same products. I know, I’ve done it. But when you have used the same deodorant since 1960, you need to let loose a little! When your sweat mixes with the gunk and you smell worse than you would if you wore none at all…take the hint. Yes it’s you who smells! Yes I burn scented oils when you stink up my surroundings and yes…I hold my breath to prevent from loosing my lunch in your direction.

There's just one more thing that is bugging me lately. It's not a helpful hint. It's more of a concern really. When you live in an apartment, you often notice the hallway smells to high heaven. It's a mixture of food, personal smells and who knows what else. Well, our hallway smells like adult diapers (there's something more toxic about an adult diaper smell than a baby diaper smell), kitty litter, bleach, musty wood, onion and grease. Why? Why do we have to smell this crap? There seems to be nothing you can do to stop it from eeking into your own apartment either! Do not accumulate used diapers, take out your garbage, use your windows to air out your apartment, clean your kitty litter and take a freakin shower!!!!

Ok, I'm done. If you have none of the issues stated above, have a great day. If you have one or more...please correct the problem for the benefit of others or stay at least fifty yards away from me at all times.

Live & Laugh

What would happen if we were made without the ability to laugh? I think life would be very dull, and we'd all be very very stressed out. I find that when I laugh, it makes me feel lighter. Not that it's gonna be the new diet craze. Lighter meaning, whatever may have been pulling on my heart at the time has been lifted. Laughter doesn't erase your problems, but I like to think it helps you through them. Helping you cope, seeing the lighter side of the whole picture and working from the outside in (or from the inside out, whatever you prefer). If your body feels calm, then your thoughts will follow and become more rational and organized. At least that's the way I see it. I don't really have much more to say. Just a reminder to laugh as much as you can and treasure the people that make it possible.

Funny Little Story

Jeremy bought a pair of jeans about a week ago. He keeps talking about going back to "Wally world" (for those of you who don't know...this is Winnipeg for Walmart) so I know he loves them.

He picked me up from work the other day and told me about how he took our Christmas tree down and began washing the tree stand in our tub. While he was washing it he noticed a few circular white spots on his knees that looked like bleach. He was so annoyed that he had just wrecked his new jeans and as he tried to figure out what it was, he remembered the tub number.

A couple days before, I decided to take a bath to relax before going back to work the next day. I brought a book to read, a hand held yahtzee game in case the book was boring and the phone...cuz I didn't want to miss a call.

After a couple rounds of yahtzee the phone rang. After I let the caller know that Jeremy wasn't home, there was a pause and then he began to tell me his number. I didn't have a pen, so my first thought was, "I could just tell Jeremy who called and he could look for the number", but then I got annoyed at my laziness and decided that I could remember it. So I hung up and then I began to doubt how good my memory was. I reached for the nearest writing tool I could think of. The shampoo. Yes yes, I know. Who writes with shampoo. So I wrote the number on the side of the tub so that I could write it down later. Well I forgot to make the tub to paper transfer, so when Jeremy got home I told him there was a number on the tub that he needed to call. But he didn't wash it off. Hence...the white bleachy stuff on his jeans. So the story ends on a good note.

The weird thing is: I hate baths, cuz if you think about it, you're sitting in your own watered down filth; I usually don't care about answering the phone, in fact, I screen my calls sometimes; and as this was my first time writing with shampoo...I think it went well.