This is great!

I know some of you wont appreciate this photo. But when I spotted it, I had a good laugh. It inspires me to do the same.

No, "ass" is not a swear word. It's a body part. And clearly that is the context in which this book title uses it. Anyone with book cover photos out there? Send them to me so I can re-title them.

What Do You Want?

I don't gamble much. Honestly, I get bored after 20 - 30 minutes of tirelessly making the same motions to press how many lines I want to play and then how many credits I want to flush down the toilet that is Winnipeg's Club Regent Casino. Last time I was there, I played $5 for 45 minutes and walked out with $10. I know, I know, it doesn't sound like much. But when I go there, I fully expect to lose my $5 - $10. Once I am completely bored and done with the repetitive button pressing, I wander. Man people throw a lot of money away there. If you take a peak at the amounts people put on the table for one card game alone you'd be surprised. $300, $700, $1000, It's unbelievable! I don't understand why people do this and some of them are there on a daily basis...can you imagine how much those people throw away? Instead of wasting it in the casino, they could be saving up to fix their homes, send their kids to college, retire and not have to live on food stamps and so on. Yes, I like the games that come with VLT's, but clearly not as much as the people next to me.

I guess gambling is an addiction for some just like smoking, drinking...I guess it all comes down to how badly we want what we want for ourselves. Most people think if something is going to be difficult that's it's not worth it. But doesn't it make it more worth it? Everything in our lives that's good has taken some time and effort. I'm not going to give up on anything because it seems too hard or too big for me to handle. I think that with every ounce of effort, comes better understanding and an ability to value situations, people and life more.

Happy 21 Lori!

She's 21 today! I remember days when Lori would do something that annoyed me and I would over react angrilly and tell her that she was named after a dead person (No really, she was! My dad's sister died as an infant when she went in for surgery to correct her clef pallet). Sorry that you were the first to experience my meanness Lori. Maybe you should have thought about that before you were born second! Ha ha, like you had a choice. It is actually nice that your name had a meaning behind it. In a way, as you have lived your life you've kept the memory of dad's baby sister alive.

Well I am glad that we get along better than when we were kids. You've turned out to be a great person. Keep on growing and maybe you will not end up being the shortest one of us all. At least you're still taller than Sam.

Anyways...HAPPY BIRTHDAY LORI! I hope you win the jackpot at the casino tonight!

Helpful Hints Shopper Edition...

Okay, if you haven't read the first Helpful Hints post - you should. You may consider the points when out in public so you don't make people angry, consider them to push people's buttons or think of them as you are out and develop issues with public places. Here are a few Helpful Hints for all you shoppers...

1) If you're in a group of slow walking shoppers, don't walk in a straight line so no one can get by. There's nothing that makes me want to strangle myself on the spot like trying to get from store to store through a crowd and then getting slowed down to a crawl. If you'd like to stroll through that's fine, just don't block the way! Some of us know where we're going and what we want.

2) Do not yell at sales people. Just because they work in retail and you've had a bad day, doesn't mean they have "Please yell at me to the point that spit is flying out of your mouth" pasted on their forehead! And if you are one of the customers behind this rude person, say something. Don't just mumble under your breath. Be the person who improves someone else's day not the one who completely shatters it. Unless the rudeness begins at their end, in which case, I like to be rude right back or talk to them like they are 5. That always cheers me up.

3) It's taking forever to get through a line and the person behind you is so glad that they're next. Until...you pull out your small change one by one. I always picture taking that persons purse, dumping it out and counting it myself so they'll get far far away from me as soon as possible. Here's a hint...Roll it and take it to the bank. This situation is even worse when the person has forgotten their glasses.

4) Shopping is enjoyable unless you happen to walk through someone's stench! Come on people. If you are going out in public...please have a shower. People shouldn't have to breathe in your dirty, germ filled, stank wank body stench! If I wanted to smell rancid meat, old garlic, moth balls or any other nasty smells that have grown on you I would live in a garbage bin.

Well, I can't think up anything else...so have a great April. So far April in Winnipeg sucks but things could change.

"The noodle eater's hair protector"

I found this online.

Ha ha! The fact that someone thought this was a good idea to patent proves that some people just have too much time on their hands. But, maybe it sells well in China. They do eat a lot of noodles there...right?

Who gets noddles in their hair? Truthfully, I would probably buy this as a gag gift for birthdays. That's about it.

I looked at this again, when translated from Chinese it actually means "funny tool".

Just Another Money sucker

There are so many things that I could care less if I had. Some things are just out there for some average Joe to try and make a buck. Here's a list of what in my opinion are "money sucker items". Feel free to add more to the comments link.

"Roll up the rim" tool - honestly, if you are getting that messy from rolling it up, maybe you should wait until you are done drinking it! That would eliminate the spillage you moron. You don't need a gadget you need a new brain.

Salad spinner - I know some of you use these. That little bit of water is going to disappear once you add dressing anyways.

Rice cooker - Does anyone use a pot anymore? Boil double the amount of water to rice and cook for 25 minutes. Why spend money on one of these if you have something that can cook rice in half the time?

Eye lash curler - First of all, this thing looks like a surgical tool. These cost about $8-$20 in stores. What a waste of money. I'll use a pencil and a blow dryer if I want my lashes curled that badly.

Egg cups - I've never understood people who use these. An egg is so small, it's gone in a minute. Why bother putting each one in its own dish? Who eats an egg with a spoon anyways?

Banana tree - Just use a freakin plate people. A bowl even.

Pet rock - Come on! Would you seriously pay for a rock that someone picked up out of their back lane, painted and glued googly eyes to? What is the world coming to????

Electric Flosser - Yes they do sell these. I know flossing is annoying, but if you waste your money on this, you deserve a little tooth rot.

Tea Bag Squeezer - I don't know what you're thinking, but this just sounds wrong. But, you can buy these anywhere kitchen items are sold. Do people actually use these?

Throw Pillows - A pillow just for show?...I don't get it. Can someone please explain?

Bed Skirt - I don't want to wear a skirt never mind put one on my bed. Some prissy woman had to have invented this one.

Dog Sweater - People who buy these for their pets are retarded! Yes it's cold, but that's why THEY HAVE FUR!!! It angers me to see a dog wearing clothing. Yours may be due for a "wok" to the nearest Chinese restaurant, you're getting too attached! You want to dress something? Buy a kid! There's plenty out there!

I don't understand why people insist on cluttering up their lives with these things. I can kind of understand if you receive them as gifts and find a use for them. But don't waste your money on things that you could easily do with items you already have.

One Day Away From Relaxation

I love Thursday because I know there's only one more day until the weekend. My brochures seem to be flying out of the office suddenly and I only have 4 more to complete. Woohoo! Then I can start working on the rest of the books that need to be revamped. There are quite a few here in the office that have not been redesigned since the early 80's, some since the late 70's. Some are so old, that they have never been entered into a computer. The information in each book is great except for the occasional use of the word "Indian" and the word "Gay". I'm sure you understand why these words had to be replaced.

Recently, mom bumped into someone that knew a friend of hers. He just happens to be looking for someone to do design & layout for a magazine business downtown. I will meet with him and see if it's for me. But since this happened I have been wondering about myself. What I want for myself and what effects my decisions. I do get very frustrated a lot at my current job. Although I may not go to church every Sunday, I know what I believe and I really feel that it is where God wants me to be. I don't want my decisions to be fueled by the idea of a bigger paycheck. I want to love what I do and not think about the money. Don't get me wrong, I do want to be able to live off of what I make. I just want to make sure I'm where I should be. Although this magazine thing may not even be for me, I can see this developing into a strong personal struggle for me in the future with different opportunities. Any thoughts? Please comment.