The Boulevard Couch

Once upon a time my 3 siblings, my father and I, were walking to a football game. We spotted a couch on the boulevard and as we walked passed it, I started thinking about how crappy my mother's old couch was. She had the 15 year old couch stuffed with pillows and blankets so people wouldn't sink in every time they sat on it. But this couch looked like it was in pretty good shape. I ran back to it and lifted the cushions to see if there was any damage. I also tipped it forward to see if the bottom was crappy, but it was fine. So we walked to the stadium and watched the game (the Bombers lost).

With 9 beers in his system, my dad was quite loud, giggly and definitely not walking straight. As I tried to make sure he didn't drop his camera again, I was also trying to convince Chad to help me carry the couch to mom's. It would be a city block, but I knew it was in better shape than hers, and I knew she wasn't home. It was the perfect window of opportunity. Reluctantly, he agreed to help.

Once we got it to mom's, Lori and I decided that we'd put the old couch in her porch so that once she found out that we got this other one off the boulevard, we could just switch it back if she was angry. But as soon as we moved it, everything fell a part. Springs, foam, pillows and blankets went everywhere. So we decided that it was garbage. We placed the boulevard couch in her living room and left.

At home, I tried to think about lies I could tell her so she wouldn't find out it was from the boulevard, but I decided just to tell her the truth. The next morning she called me and asked if the furniture fairy had brought her a couch the night before. I told her the story and she seemed fine with it.

It has been in her living room for just over a year now. She recently bought a new set of couches and we need to get rid of the sacred boulevard couch now. She didn't want to sell it. But I refused to listen to her. Within a few hours of putting it on "Used Winnipeg", I got a call. $60 for a couch we got for free! We plan to use the money to replace the baseboards that the contractors (Handy Hands) screwed up.

NOTE: Handy Hands does NOT know what they're doing! They are a business run by a dad and his son who clearly don't communicate well. Don't EVER employ them to renovate your home. They did a half ass job on my mom's place. The only thing they did right was the siding, fascia and soffeting. They got a cross-eyed guy to paint, the paint was full of hot patches (blotches), used 4 different types of baseboards, and covered their crappy drywall cuts with more baseboards.